My Modern Love

What is modern our love? What is it based on?

I believe first we have to define what is our love and what is modern our love. Webster define our love as a feeling of strong or constant regard for and dedication to someone. The Bible define our love as: Our love is patient and kind; our love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

I met my husband in college, both of us were freshmen in college and new Christians. There was a group of us that hang together and became one another’s accountable partners. Some of us being first generation college students wanted nothing more than to make our parents proud. I had friends that were friends with my husband because he was an athlete. I remember the day my friend came to me and said Antoine wanted me to introduce you to him”. At first, I said no but a little while later I decided, because I trust her that I would meet this “guy” named Antoine. Soon after we met, Sparks really begin to fly, and we knew that we were destined to be together. We dated for six months, and then we got married. At this time, we were attending college together, enjoying life. Where we stayed, we begin to see other young married couples that we could hang around and do life with them. At time, my Faith was really strong, and Holy Spirit said to me that that Antoine was my spouse, but I wanted to remain poised and graceful. I did not want to appear desperate, or anxious.

I remember, we decided that we were going to meet at the Y-hut, that was Christian organization on campus that ministered to college students. We experience many things together as our faith grew in God, while our love for one another blossomed into a full romance. Planning together, dreaming up our future while enjoying one another for the moments that we had until it was time to go to class and/or a track meet. It was important to make sure we kept our focus for the objective that was in front of us to graduate and make our parents proud. It seemed like yesterday that we decided to attend the same bible study.

I remember after six months, he asked me to go home with him to meet his family. I was so nervous, but there was nothing more precious to me than seeing the background where my soon to be husband lived. To walk the same grounds, to see his vision, to understand the dynamics of his childhood, all of that was so precious. And sure enough six months after we met. We skip class one day, headed to the courthouse and exchange sacred vows to another.

Our love story had tears, regrets, heartaches, fighting because we did not have wise counsel before making this life changing decision. However, looking back and wishing I would’ve made a different choice would alter who I am today. After all our challenges, infidelity, lack of trust, heartaches; we started to receive wise counsel, surrounded ourselves, with season couples in marriage who could pour into our lives, and adopted the teaching of the Word of God to help guide us on our path to restoring us to a better marriage.

Today our modern love is more passionate, understanding, patient, and an open book for all who want to love, for those who want to know how the love for their spouse can be sustained, covered, and recaptured. The thing that really bought us back full circle is the Holy Spirit. Because, until we understood the magnitude of Jesus love and sacrifice how He gave His life for us, we cannot understand how to our love one another.

Some things that we put in place after all the heartaches, is prayer, date, night, pillow, talk, couples’ outings. But before all of this, we remember that being together, touching one another and understanding our love language of our partner is so important. The things that sustains our love for one another, is the phone calls, saying things that act as an aphrodisiac or foreplay, to keep our love and fire burning. Being mindful of one another, in every situation, saying what’s on our mind in a way that it can be articulated by one another. Making sure that we spend time together, regardless of the business that come from our lives from children, from our job, building our businesses, church, parents, friends, etc.

The question asked what is modern our love?  Our Modern love looks like a brick home on a solid foundation with beautiful colors and windows. Our modern our love is going through life and getting hit and not staying down, but using your voice to navigate the hard spaces in your life. Our modern love is doing life together even though, you may be disappointed, hurts, or focused on your job or raising the kids. Our modern love is having a foundation that’s never going to change regardless of what happens. being able to navigate together, being patient with one another in all spaces, and not being too proud to ask for help to get past a hard hurdle. Our modern love can’t be modern love without foundational principles that sustains us during anytime of our life because when you get hit in life, it’s not to stay apart but it’s to come together.  So you can better understand, better support, and better be able to articulate and understand the other person’s hurt, resentment, and frustration. Our modern love is strong, is bold, is beautiful, and it is unwavering like a flag, flying in the wind blowing profusely. My modern our love is a brick building that regardless of what comes, water, running through it still stands because the foundation is solid. Our modern our love is on display for all to see, to admire, to pattern, two question, and to deal with where they are so that they may be able to develop their own modern our love.

In order to have modern our love, we had to have a pattern and a firm foundation. We have to have a standard by which to measure our accomplishments, our dealings, our understanding, and without an example;  life hit us below the belt.

There will be no modern without biblical our love, and that is what our love is based on the Bible. It’s based on the love that our Savior, have for the people that He created. Not only did He love us, but He gave His son for us, so that we would be without an excuse. Because that is THE perfect example of what love looks like, in action. Our modern our love is based on our Savior’s BIBLICAL EXAMPLE, and that our Father gave His son for us. The example that He left here in the earth, reminds us that we can always win in every situation regardless of what it is. That we can overcome obstacles! We can deal with circumstances and any situations that seem to be beyond our control! Our modern our love is an example of the biblical our love that God gave His only son to die for us on the cross. Because without that biblical example, we would have no modern our love to talk about or display as an example to our family, friends, church and our community .i.e. the world.